Friday, September 23, 2011
Someone wants my hand...
This guy I know... he wants to take my hand in marriage. I love him so dearly, he means the world to me. He keeps me laughing every day... and tears of joy glides down my face. He sing to me and give me his heart to have and to hold. We talk each day even though ,we were miles away. I pour out in song to him, tell him that I love him each day. We sing together in the same key of Love. How sweet he sounds when he calls my name. I rest my head on his heart that beats so strong for me. I give him every waiting second of my life, and every breath I take, he is my air. His arms stretches over the miles just for me reaching past country after country, his heart is gentle and kind to mine. Times we share together, can never compared with anything better, any word left unsaid, I always keep you close to my heart where you belong. Let me tell you, you will be there for quite some time. I enjoy your warm embrace.
One day... my heart fluttered. You told me that you were having an arranged marriage, then you told me that you couldn't live without me. For six days, I drowned in your misery, I felt your pain, I beat my heart crying for you, and I couldn't sleep and I fasted. I tossed and turned, but I couldn't get you off my mind. Friends couldn't lift my spirit because my spirit caved in my heart. It mourned for your understanding, your pain, and for our desire, our wishes, our dreams, our lives and our goals. I begin to fear you because you started to call me soul-cutting hurtful names and worst of all, you called me a friend.
The love I had for you broke off in my heart like a well-worn dagger. You tell me to forget about you. I just couldn't do it and I can't. How could I forget someone who wants my hand? Who showed me true love? Who inspired me to be all I can? Who has held out their shoulder for me to cry on when no one can? Who showed me better way to see and appreciate the beauty in me? How could you hurt me and cause me pain so grand? I fell apart the day and dismantle my soul when you told me it was a lie. You aren't getting married and it was all a game. I could have killed myself but, I refuse to let your love drive me insane. I could have hated you for all you done but, I would still feel sad. I could have took my anger out on someone else but, then I would be someone gone mad. I could have done as much as I would like but, revenge is not my middle name. I was so in love with this man but, he was just playing games.
- 29 years young, an ISFP, JW, and happily married. I suffer from binge eating, PTSD, attention deficit disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Life is a battle worth fighting. This is mainly a coping blog but may you find encouragement, hope, passion and survival stories.